


Circumstantial Evidence

by Naralanis



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 14:32:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3653892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naralanis/pseuds/Naralanis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassidy is convinced Miranda has been seeing someone. Caroline isn't so sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Circumstantial Evidence

**Author's Note:**

> Just something my muse came up with this morning. Enjoy!
> 
> ~Naralanis

 

 

“I don’t see it.”

“Are you an idiot? Come on, Caro, when has she _ever_ acted like this? She _has_ to be seeing someone!”

“She wasn’t like that when she started seeing Stephen. Or David. Or that other guy. And I could bet she wasn’t like that with Dad either.”

Cassidy rolled her eyes at her sister.

“You are blind. Look at the signs! She _smiles_ more. Especially when she looks at her phone. When did she _ever_ smile when looking at her phone?! She’s ignored the Book twice in a row. And you know as well as I do that she doesn’t spend the nights here when we’re at Dad’s, if you know what I mean” she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Ew, gross, Cass! That’s our _mother_ you’re talking about!”

“So you have thought about it!”

“Have not!”

“Have too!”

“Fine!” Caroline threw her arms in the air in an exasperated gesture. “Maybe she has been acting weird. But it could be anything!”

“Like what, you butthead? She’s clearly been going on dates left and right!”

“I need proof. And if she _is_ seeing someone, when the time is right, she’ll tell us. Like she has before.”

“You really don’t get it, do you? This is _not_ like before. I’m telling you, whoever this one is, he’s different.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Fine! If you need proof, I’ll get it for you. Just wait and see.”

“Fine. But it’ll be a… What’s it called again? An idiot’s errand?”

“A _fool’s_ errand, Caro.”

“Well, in your case it’s both.”

“Shut up.” 

 

* * *

“Hey, Roy?”

“Yes, Miss Cassidy?”

“Have you taken Mom anywhere new these past few weeks? Anywhere exciting?”

Caroline gave her sister a healthy whack on the shoulder for her lack of tact. _Honestly._

“Miss Cassidy, I’m not at liberty to discuss where your mother goes.”

“For work, yeah. Nothing interesting on the weekends though?”

Roy rolled his eyes good-naturedly and briefly gazed at the youngest (by seven minutes) Priestly through the rear-view mirror.

“Nothing I would know, I’ve had the past few weekends off.”

“Alright, thanks” Cassidy replied, nudging her sister non-too subtly before hitting the button for the privacy screen to roll up.

“See?! See?!” she exclaimed.

“Ouch, quit it! See what?!”

“God, you’re slow. When has Roy _ever_ had a weekend off?”

“Still doesn’t explain anything. Mom can drive places.”

“Exactly! She’s driving somewhere so private not even Roy can know about it! Like, to a new lover’s place!”

“Oh, God. Please don’t use that word in a sentence that refers to Mom in any way, shape or form. I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Oh, Caro, stop being such a baby. So what, Mom has sex. That’s how we came about, you know.”

“Will you _please_ stop it?! ‘Mom’ and ‘sex’ should never be in the same sentence together.”

“Fine, have it your way. Just know that she has it.”

Caroline responded with a glare to her sister that effectively shut her up. The two girls continued the drive in silence for a few moments before Cassidy felt the need to add:

“And a lot of it, by the looks of it.”

Caroline groaned.

* * *

 

“Hey, Emily”

“Bloody Hell! Where did you come from!?” The redhead almost stumbled backwards on her five-inch Jimmy Choos as she balanced the Book and the dry-cleaning.

“The cupboard under the stairs. You’re British, didn’t you read Harry Potter?”

The assistant rolled her eyes and went about her duties.

“Listen, can I ask you a question?”

“Seems you already have.”

“Haha, very funny. Let me just tell Mom how scared I got with you clambering up the steps and hid in the cupboard thinking you were a burglar. Oh, the trauma, oh, the therapy bills!”

Emily fumed. _Why, the little twit!_

“Yes, you may ask me a question.”

“Great! What does Mom have on scheduled for next weekend, while we’re at Dad’s?”

“If you must know, she has that weekend completely free.”

“Is that the norm when we’re at Dad’s?”

“I schedule brunch or dinner occasionally, why?”

“Really? For how many?”

“Two.”

“Great, thanks, Em!” the little girl hopped up the stairs, satisfied with the information gathered.

“I love my job, I love my job, I love my job…”

 

“Mom’s _totally_ going on dates!”

“Uh… Wha… What time is it?? Cassidy, let me sleep!”

“No, no! I just ambushed Emily; Mom’s had her schedule meals for two and has the weekends’ schedule cleared when we’re at Dad’s! She _is_ seeing someone!”

“That is all circumstantial.”

“You’re watching too much Law and Order. It’s enough! I’m convicted, Mom’s been dating!”

“You mean convinced.”

“Whatever.”

“Well, I’m not. I need concrete evidence.”

Cassidy threw a pillow at her twin, annoyed.

“There’s just no pleasing you!”

* * *

“I sense a disturbance in the force.”

"Ugh, what now, Cassidy?”

“The pattern’s changed.”

“What pattern?”

“Mom’s lover-boy pattern!”

“Please don’t call it that.”

“She hasn’t ignored the Book while we’re at Dad’s anymore.”

“So? It’s her _job_ not to ignore the Book.”

"I know, you idiot. But before, she probably put it aside because she had better things… or _people_ to do.”

“ARGH! Just, no!”

“Can’t you see it?! It’s the only thing that’s changed; and only on certain weekends. Lover-boy is spending nights at the townhouse when we’re not here!”

“That’s just conjecture. And would you please, for the love of God, stop referring to this supposed man as ‘lover-boy’? It’s just, ew.”

* * *

 

“I have run into a conundrum.”

“Here we go again.”

“There’s no trace of this Mystery-Man in the guestroom.”

“That’s because Mystery-Man is a figment of your imagination.” Caroline added unhelpfully.

“There’s nothing! Not a razor, not a toothbrush… Not even a lone sock! Not even a hint of cologne! It’s like the bedroom hasn’t been used at all!”

“As I said: a figment of your imagination.”

“Or…”

“…Or?”

“Or he’s been in Mom’s bedroom!!”

“God, no! Stop it!”

“It makes sense, Caroline!”

“No it doesn’t” Caroline wagged a finger in a no-nonsense fashion. “Mom didn’t share a bed with her _husband,_ why would she share it with a stranger?! Provided this stranger even exists.”

“Maybe Mystery-Man is better in the sack.”

Caroline whimpered and cranked the volume of her music to its loudest setting through her headphones.

* * *

“Mom?! What are you doing home?”

“Hello Bobbseys. I decided to take a half-day.”

The two girls glanced at each other, then at their mother, in confusion.

“But you never take a half-day!” the exclaimed in unison.

“Hm, I wonder what my boss would say.” The woman’s eyes sparkled with mirth. “Go on now, change out of those uniforms. Roy will be here any minute to take you to your father’s”

The twins hugged their mother and went up the stairs.

“See! See! See!” Cassidy whispered.

“See what?”

“She never takes half days! She’s probably going on a trip or something!”

“You’re creative, Cassidy, I’ll give you that.”

* * *

               

"I'm going to go into the Dragon’s lair.”

“Mom’s gonna have a cow if she hears you referring to her room like that.”

“Well, she’s not here. I’m gonna do it.”

“Be my guest!”

* * *

 

“You won’t believe what I found in Mom’s bathroom.”

“You went into her bathroom?!”

“Yes. And I found… Hanes!!”

“What?”

“Hanes!! Underwear? Come. On!”

“While it is pretty strange to find that in this house, it doesn’t point toward a Mystery-Man.”

“Maybe he’s got some fetish with underwear from a pack?”

“Or Mom’s going through some mid-life crisis.”

“You’re no help, Caroline. I’m going to go look for condoms or something equally compromising.”

“CASSIDY!”

* * *

 

“OK, there’s officially someone courting Mom. See?! Roses!”

“That means nothing. Cara puts on new flowers all the time.”

“Yeah, but never roses. And never in Mom’s study.”

“So? Maybe Mom wanted a change.”

“Caroline. This is Mom we’re talking about. Red roses, Caro, red roses!”

* * *

 

“I’ve got a project that’s a bit more daring.”

“Oh God, what now?”

“Where are the keys for Mom’s car?”

“Cassidy…”

“Relax, will ya? I just need to unlock it so I can take a look at the GPS.”

“I don’t know what you expect to find. Mom barely drives anywhere.”

“Still worth a try. Wish me luck.”

“No. Shan’t.”

* * *

 

“I was right!”

“What about?”

“Mom’s been to an address at the Upper West Side almost every weekend we’re at Dad’s. And that half-day she took? She went to the Hamptons, _after_ stopping at the address on the Upper West Side! I _knew it!”_

“So Mom drives around. Still doesn’t prove she’s been seeing someone.”

“Gosh, Caroline, are you blind?!”

“OK, fine. Say she _is_ seeing someone…”

“She _totally_ is!”

“…we still have no way to determine who.” Caroline finished, quirking an eyebrow. Cassidy looked deflated.

“Aw, Hell no. I’m not giving up that easily.”

* * *

“Cassidy…”

“Yes, Caro?”

“You know as well as I do that this ‘project’ you forgot at home is absolute crap. Why are we coming back this early?”

“Really, Caro, you’re so unimaginative.”

“Just tell me.”

“Mom doesn’t expect us back from Dad’s until late this evening. We’re going to surprise her.”

“But _why_?”

“Honestly! I want a peek of Lover-Boy, obviously.”

“God, help us all.”

* * *

 

 Cassidy turned her key in the lock with surprising stealth, making Caroline roll her eyes at her sister, who clearly thought she was some sort of super-spy in the making. The youngest twin brought a finger to her lips, urging her sister to remain silent, which earned her yet another eye roll. The house was silent, but there was movement in the kitchen. Probably their mother, making breakfast.

“They’re in the kitchen, let’s get’em!”

The two tiptoed their way to the kitchen, Cassidy intent on catching her mother red-handed, Caroline following begrudgingly. What they saw in the kitchen, however, was beyond their wildest expectations.

“Andy?!!”

“Oh, fuck! I mean, shit! Damn it, no, I mean…Aw, heck.”

“What are you doing here?!”

"OH MY GOD! Are you NAKED under that apron?!?!”

The brunette flushed a deep shade of red, and partially hid herself behind the counter.

“He. Hehe. Well. Hi. Pancakes. Y’all want some pancakes? Yes, pancakes are good. Yes. But first, shirt. And shorts. Where. Well. Hi.” She stammered.

All the girls could do was gape at the half-naked, stuttering brunette. Suddenly, an airy voice floated their way from the stairs.

“Really, girls, give Andrea some space. Go to your rooms, and you may join us for breakfast… When it’s ready.” Miranda said in a mischievous tone.

Cassidy eyed Andy in quick scrutiny before dragging her twin upstairs past their mother, who seemed to be doing a crap job of containing her laughter. They spared her a disbelieving glance before going up.

“See! See! I _told_ you she was seeing someone!”

“And I _told_ you Lover-Boy was a figment of your imagination.”

“She has a lady love instead. And it’s _Andy!”_

The two paused momentarily before Cassidy finally spoke again.

“Well that explains the Hanes.”

 

 


End file.
